I Have No One To Go On Vacation With
I have no one to go on vacation with, I’m stuck here in town all by myself… (repeat other person’s name) I hate vacations. Well, no I don’t. I love vacations — they’re fantastic and wonderful. What I hate is trying to go on one with a friend or family member and find out no one wants to come!
Have you just returned from your summer vacation and realized that your work colleagues got to go on that company retreat and you didn’t? Or maybe you didn’t get to go on a business trip with lots of paid days off. Perhaps you have realized that there is someone in your office who went on a really cool vacation, somewhere amazing, and all you got to see was their glossy photographs.
Summer is around the corner and what better way is there to spend it than going on vacation? But, everyone knows that vacations aren’t cheap. Depending on where you go, the accommodations and the airfare alone can eat up half of your budget. So, you might be asking yourself, how can I get a cheaper vacation? If this question pops into your head more than once then you’re in luck. I have a few tips and tricks that can help reduce some of your expenses when planning your next getaway.
There are many things written about traveling solo, regardless if you are a male or a female. It does not really matter if they are listing the pros or the cons since there is something no one actually tells you about traveling solo. After three years of traveling solo consistently, I have already made my own lists of pros and cons, and I will always defend anyone who wishes to travel solo. It is such an amazing thing to do, but it could be a nightmare as well.
All these years I have been traveling solo, I have felt happy with being able to choose how to move, where to eat, what to visit first, which people I want to talk with, and having a lot of time to think about my life. I love doing all that by myself, unless I actually get to meet new people because I decided to. But I guess I am actually getting old. Let me explain.
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Traveling has been self-reassuring until now. It has been that period of knowing myself a lot better, of self-confirmation that I am actually mentally healthy and that I can solve my own awkward moments by taking the best decisions possible. However, the last time I traveled by myself, I thought there was something missing.
As a young woman traveling solo, many would think that the chance to have travel flings, going out to drink or just hanging out would become easy, but no. Last time, I actually felt alone. I am totally used to not having someone to take my pictures and having to take selfies or using the timer while the camera is hanging somewhere safe. I am totally used to eat in a table for one. I have never had issues with that. But last time, I actually felt I needed to have someone next to me with whom actually share the experience. I never felt I needed that.
That time, while I was walking around Rome, I thought about people back home: “I’m sure X would love seeing the Colosseum” or “I wish Y would try this gelato with me.” I actually needed to have someone there, and no, I don’t think I was acting differently because I wasn’t making as much friends as I usually do while traveling. The dating scene this time was worse than usual. Blame it on Tinder. I actually felt like the antithesis of what “Eat, Pray, and Love” ideally describes of that solo traveler every women want to become. There were times I wanted to go back home — that was also something new.
I Have No One To Go On Vacation With
How do you — as a travel blogger — explain that you’re actually exhausted of traveling solo? Isn’t that the same thing you promote as a blogger? Yeah, those were the first things that came to mind when I realized what I was feeling was exhaustion. I got tired of being by myself. I was going through a moment where I asked myself: “With so many people in the world, how is it possible that I always have to do this by my own?”
It was hard to accept it, even harder to explain it. People tend to look at the privilege you have of traveling. How am I supposed to be so vain by telling them “I am not feeling happy because carrying my bags around a new city by my own is not exciting anymore?”
When I discussed it with people, I thought they would understand. Instead, they pointed out my traveling privilege or would say, “Why are we not switching places?” And I knew they were right. I am privileged of being able to travel because I chose it as one of my main writing topics. I am privileged of having loyal readers and of having earned the trust of so many people. This just seems totally stupid, but I decided to actually accept it, and this is the reason why this text came to life.
Yes, I am a solo travel blogger. Yes, I will always encourage people to not leave for tomorrow what they want to do today just because they are afraid to be alone. But, this experience has taught me I can’t deny human nature. In the end, we are social creatures. It doesn’t matter how independent and how self sufficient we can be. I actually wanted to have someone to hug when I discovered a new place. I wanted to hold a hand when I felt I needed it but no, as a solo traveler, those moments do not really exist. I am craving the feeling to travel along with someone.
Travel by your own, explore, feel and love. In that self confirmation that journey can bring, do not feel scared to admit your flaws. Knowing what you can handle while traveling alone is a great start to get to know yourself better. Once, I read a quote that said that “Traveling tends to magnify all human emotions.” If in that certain moment of your life you need a space to be alone, you will manage it as well as possible. As I previously mentioned, the older I am getting, the more I need to share experiences. I know I will always be a solo travel blogger, but I am totally looking forward to write that blog post where I can talk about my experience shared with someone special.
‘Sorry lovely, I’m going to Barcelona with the uni girls, I’m afraid!’ As I read the text, I was overwhelmed with sadness; a ball of totally misplaced anger grew in the pit of my stomach. Of course it wasn’t Claire’s fault she’d already made holiday plans – or that I’d left sorting out mine till late March – but she was my last hope. I couldn’t believe that not one of my friends (and I had asked six of them, yes, SIX) could go on holiday with me this year. How had this happened?
If you’re in a relationship, the idea of not having anyone to go on holiday with is probably incomprehensible. But when you’re a 34-year-old singleton, I can tell you it’s an easy situation to find yourself in.
I know what you’re all thinking; I must be awful company and don’t have any friends. Wrong. Without wanting to boast (oh, who am I kidding?) I have loads of friends. Seriously, my friendship cup runneth over. But good friends don’t automatically translate into available-for-a-week-long holiday buddies. Even with three months’ notice.
Now I’m in my mid-30s, an increasing number of my pals have coupled up, and their kids and spouses take priority over me when it comes to holidays – fair enough. And as for my single mates, well, this year it turns out they all have other plans. Some, like Claire, have a well-established group of friends they go away with every year, others can’t go away because of money or work commitments, and some have already allocated all their holiday allowance for the year.
Which leaves me in the frustrating situation of having tons of days off to use up, a decent chunk of money, five brand new pairs of sandals just begging for an outing, and no one to go away with.
Although this predicament came as a bit of a shock, it really shouldn’t have; it’s actually been brewing for some time. Take last summer; I was lucky enough to have two holidays… however neither were what you’d call conventional for a professional 30-something.
The first was with my friends – a married couple and their two young children. Yes, I actually crashed my mates’ family holiday. I’m close to both the husband and wife and love their kids, and they were happy for the extra pair of adult hands, so it worked for us, but it’s obviously not a normal set-up, and left a lot of our friends and family baffled.
My second holiday was with my parents. They’re great, and going away with them has some serious upsides (mainly, the fact they pay for everything and I don’t have to make any decisions). But again, hardly a recipe for a wild time.
So this year I fancied a proper grown-up holiday with a mate. Fancy hotel, cocktails by the pool, a night out to the local discotheque culminating in a drunken snog with a local waiter. You know, the usual. But it’s not to be.
People who ask why I don’t just take a solo trip or, worse, women with families who tell me how much they’d simply LOVE to be able to go away without their hubby and kids (oh do piss off!), are missing the point. I don’t want to go away alone this year. I don’t want time to myself – I have more than enough of that as it is! And choosing to go away alone and having no other option are two very different things. Very different.
I realise to some people this might all sound rather silly and self-indulgent, but I’ve found the whole scenario deeply upsetting. And having spoken to other single friends who’ve been in similar positions, I know my predicament’s not unique. Not only has it highlighted my feelings of failure, sadness and loneliness around being single, but I feel rejected
by my mates, like nobody picked me to be on their team at sports day – even though I know they all have genuine reasons for not being able to go away with me. Honestly, if you thought Saturday night FOMO was bad, summer holiday FOMO is a hundred times worse. Just
the thought of being bombarded with everyone’s sunny holiday snaps on social media feels unbearable right now.
Of course, although I’m currently wallowing in the pits of singledom, when it comes to travel, being baggage-free (metaphorically speaking) is often a perk. One friend, Tamara, told me how she was able to accept a last-minute invitation to Coachella exactly for this reason. ‘I could never have dropped everything at such short notice if I had a partner or childre